Brenda Nicholson

There’s Not Much You Can Control, Except Yourself, and Sometimes Even That is Impossible

I’ve been busy trying to control my life and my future, all of it.

I landed in the ER this morning, so clearly, that’s not working. All is OK with me physically, but I need some work mentally. Isn’t that true for most of us?

I realized something about myself tonight, and it has me thinking.

While part of me wants everything laid out, nice and neat, the real me is protesting — loudly.

I am a creative, non-linear thinker. My thoughts look like a fireworks display; everything is going off at once. I don’t want to color inside the lines or even have lines.

So why would I think I can — or should — have everything planned neatly, complete with boxes for checking things off?

Why am I not living in the moment, relishing this new adventure?

Because it’s uncomfortable, not knowing what’s going to happen. There are a million “what ifs” running through my head. None of them are good.

Why do we feel we have to have everything planned out so far in advance?

We’re always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up, and we expect teens to plan the rest of their lives before they graduate high school.

What’s wrong with a bit of spontaneity now and then? A day with no plan, without a single task? A drive with no destination?

I realize that we can’t live our whole lives that way, but we should be adding more days like that into our lives.

Just don’t plan them.

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